“I Wasn’t Given The Choice”
The only denial that will prevent our happiness is our own. Think of every partner you’ve ever had; everyone you’ve ever even kissed. Would we honestly be any happier if we’d gotten herpes from one or another? Would that make the herpes more pleasant? Sooner or later, life gives us HSV. We get that eventually, simply by being human and doing things that humans do. We know this, because very few humans make it through life without acquiring HSV. Most don’t ends up with outbreaks, but most everyone ends up carrying that contagious virus; they just do’t know it.
Of course there are emotions involved in all this herpes stuff – especially early on – but they aren’t necessarily beneficial to us and quite often, they’re aimed in the wrong direction. They can be very detrimental to both our healing and our health. The person who gave us HSV isn’t hurting us anymore; WE are, by continuing these thoughts and behaviors; by not accepting our own role and responsibility in wherever we came to be in life, including here on Projectaccept.org, talking about our herpes.
She didn’t do that to me. I did. No, she didn’t tell me and yes, she knew she she had it. She was even on Valtrex, but thought that would keep me from getting it. Sure, it would have been GREAT to be given the option…
Regardless of how I ever felt about that, the reality is, I took my own pants off. I knew full well that one might acquire any number of things – far more than any STD panel will ever test for – and yet, I made that adult decision, didn’t I? I’m responsible for my own health and as it turns out, I DID make that choice, after all: I chose to have sex with another human being… and as soon as I accepted that and the adult consequences that came with it, I began to feel a hell of a lot better.
If it’s a confession we’re seeking, the mirror is right there in the bathroom. Get to it. Tomorrow’s a brand new day. How blue that sky will appear and how brightly that sun will shine is entirely up to you.