Hello, my name is Allan.

I contracted herpes type 2 in February of 2012. It was a surprise,because the woman I had been dating for a while had claimed she was “Negative” for everything and we used condoms the first time we had sex. A week later I developed the classic flu-like symptoms and outbreak of herpes. I actually knew what it was but I was in shock because we had used protection and she said her tests were negative!  About a week later I went to a local health clinic and they confirmed it.

One of the first things I realized was that herpes would not stop me from being me. I continued on with my everyday life and daily routines and responsibilities. To me, it seemed that herpes was just something that would make my life more difficult. I did look for local support groups, but there were not any in my area other than an on-line dating site for STDs, so I joined that.

After two months, I had developed an emotional need to tell a real person about my situation, so I told a female co-worker. The first thing she did was give me a big hug and told me that we all have something that affects us. That night I also told my sister about it. She was supportive as well (she works in the medical field). Both of those steps were somewhat of a relief.

I was not enjoying the STD dating site. It wasn’t really beneficial to me, except that I did talk with someone who steered me to find The National Help Site. Once I got involved with that website I started to get the real kind of social and moral support that I needed. That was in July and since then, I have joined other groups, attended one event, and met some really great people!

I do believe that it is especially important to be active and carry on with your daily life for the newly diagnosed. I think that it is equally important to seek out those support groups and get the social and emotional support that people need, whether they are male or female. I feel pretty good about myself now. Sometimes, I feel like the stigma of having herpes is such a bogus annoyance and I don’t care if people know or not. In reality, I am still guarded about my condition and want to protect myself and my kids from any negative backlash. I haven’t told my children yet, though. Yes, I am a single, full-time father. I have a full-time job, I go to school some and I am active in my hobbies. Maybe in the future I will be able to be totally open about having herpes.

I hope that my story is helpful to others, especially the newly diagnosed. There is hope and you are not alone.

Hello my name is Allan and I have herpes.